Addressing Conflict

"Discuss a time you had a conflict. What was it about? What happened?" -I was angry at my husband for not putting the dishes away in the correct spots. Sounds minor, but we ended up squabbling about it all night. "What was the source of the conflict?" -The real source of the conflict was my feeling that he just didn't care, or wasn't trying, when it came to something I'd put time and effort into (organizing our kitchen) and that my efforts were going unrecognized. "What basic emotions did you feel upon analyzing the conflict?" -Hurt, that it didn't seem to matter to him, anger, that I had to redo work, and frustration that he didn't seem to understand why I cared. "What actions did you take to resolve your conflict?" -At the time, we took a timeout to cool down, and then talked it out when we were feeling more level-headed. While my husband's memory hasn't improved (more's the pity) I am able to just roll my eyes and move on now, recognizing that it's just a difference in our personalities and attention to detail, not a personal reflection on my worth or efforts. "If you could go back, what would you do differently, if anything?" -Evaluate from the get-go if this was something worth getting angry over; so, pick my battles a bit better. "What did you learn from this experience?" -My husband's memory is actually the worst? On a serious note - that small flaws in others we can perceive to be about ourselves, but may in fact just be that person's small flaw. Sometimes we have to step back and realize we are not connected to every issue.